


A Thousand Things

by triste



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-09
Updated: 2012-11-09
Packaged: 2017-11-18 07:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/558632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triste/pseuds/triste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someday he might even be able to smile again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Thousand Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [highboys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/highboys/gifts).



Title: A Thousand Things  
Author: Triste  
Fandom: Kuroko no Basuke  
Pairing: Kise/Kuroko, Aomine/Momoi  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: Character death, angst, mpreg  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Not mine

~~

It’s a normal day when it happens, bright and sunny, with nothing out of the ordinary. It’s not like in the movies, with Tetsuya feeling uneasy or having any premonitions. He’s only just finished getting the kids settled down for their afternoon nap when the door slides open and one of his co-workers peers around it.

“Sensei,” she whispers, beckoning, “you have a visitor.”

She stays behind to keep an eye on his class while he heads to the faculty room, and he’s even more confused to find a police officer waiting for him.

“Kise Tetsuya?” the officer asks.

He nods affirmatively, but the confusion turns to concern when given the advice that he might want to take a seat.

It’s a good thing he is sitting down, because the news he receives is not when he’s expecting.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “could you please repeat that?”

The officer does, a look of pity on his face, but Tetsuya still doesn’t believe him.

“This can’t be right. There must be some mistake.”

But there isn’t, the officer assures him. 

Ryouta is dead. 

Tetsuya doesn’t catch all the details, just bits and pieces about how there’s been an accident with the plane Ryouta should be flying home on from his latest shoot, and then it’s like everything goes silent. The officer’s lips are moving but Tetsuya can’t hear what he’s saying, so he stands up, only half aware of what he’s doing, and the room starts spinning, making him feel dizzy.

The ceiling is the last thing he sees before going unconscious.

~~

When Tetsuya opens his eyes again, he’s lying in a hospital bed. He lifts a hand to his head gingerly, finding bandages wrapped around it, and tries to push himself into a sitting position. A nurse comes in and immediately admonishes him, saying that they’ve done some tests and that he and the baby are both fine, that he’s just in shock and shouldn’t do anything reckless.

Satsuki appears shortly afterwards, Daiki following close behind, and she throws her arms around Tetsuya’s neck, face wet with tears.

“I’m sorry, Tetsu-kun,” she sobs, shoulders shaking. “I’m so sorry.”

She keeps saying it, over and over again, and Tetsuya automatically rubs her back, unsure how else to respond.

“We got a call from the school,” Daiki explains, looking awkward but worried, like he doesn’t quite know what to do, “so we both came straight here.”

The room is quiet, save for the sound of Satsuki’s stuttered breaths, and Tetsuya simply continues to move his palm in comforting circles until she eventually manages to calm down.

They’re not allowed to leave for the next couple of hours, when the nurse finally gives Tetsuya permission to go home, and Satsuki hovers close by Tetsuya’s side, keeping a tight hold on his hand as they exit the hospital. Reporters are waiting for them outside, cameras flashing as soon as they catch sight of Tetsuya, and Daiki steps in front of him, shielding him from view.

They fire off questions, one after the other, but Tetsuya doesn’t answer any of them, lowers his eyes to the pavement and refuses to look back up again as Satsuki leads him to where they’ve parked the car.

“They’re worse than vultures,” Daiki growls as he slams the door to the driver’s side shut, revving the engine. “Ignore it, Tetsu.”

He couldn’t have acknowledged them even if he wanted to, but the rational side of Tetsuya admits the press are merely doing their jobs, that an article about how a famous model has recently died and left behind his pregnant partner is bound to sell well. The emotional side, however, resents them for attempting to prey upon him so mercilessly, which is why he decides to just stop thinking altogether.

The house, when Tetsuya walks inside it, fells different somehow, like it’s not even his anymore. He almost wonders if he’s got the wrong address, but he can’t have done, not when there’s a pair of Ryouta’s sneakers lined up neatly in the entranceway, one of his jackets hanging in the hall.

This is where they live. Nothing has changed. It’s exactly how Tetsuya left it earlier that morning.

And Ryouta will never come back to it again.

The numbness begins to fade a little, makes the situation seem more painful and real. Ryouta is gone, but he’s everywhere around Tetsuya in the form of his possessions, and it hurts too much to even look at them. 

“I can’t stay here,” Tetsuya chokes out, shaking his head. “I just...”

Daiki stays with him while Satsuki packs some of his clothes into a bag, and the two of them take him over to their place instead. 

“Sorry it’s not much,” says Satsuki, showing him the spare room. It’s small and sparse, and furnished only with a bed and a chest of drawers, but Tetsuya isn’t about to complain.

“It’s fine,” he tells her. “Please don’t apologise.”

She spends the next fifteen minutes mothering him, smoothing down his hair, brushing away invisible specks of dust from his shirt, stroking his cheek.

“Would you like a drink?” she asks. “Something to eat? Is your head still sore? Should I bring you painkillers? How about a bath? If you’re tired you can take a nap, or maybe –”

“Damn it,” Daiki interrupts, tone harsh, “give him some breathing space, will you?” He isn’t really angry, and Satsuki knows. It’s his way of trying to be considerate. “Seriously, Tetsu, stay with us for as long as you need.”

“Stay with us forever,” Satsuki urges. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.”

But Tetsuya can’t. They’ve only been married a few months, and they’ll probably want a family of their own someday. He doesn’t plan on imposing for too long, just until he’s strong enough to face a life where Ryouta is no longer in it.

~~

The next few days pass by in a blur. There’s a lot of paperwork for Tetsuya to fill in, and solicitors to visit. He learns how Ryouta has made sure, if anything ever happens to him, that he and their child will still be provided for, and that hurts too, because Ryouta never told him any of these things, not that it matters anyway, since Tetsuya would rather be penniless and give up all that he owns if it means being able to bring Ryouta back.

Then there’s the funeral, but that’s even hazier. Everyone gives him the same sorrowful expressions that make Tetsuya wish they would stop looking at him like that, like he’s some sort of tragic heroine.

Satsuki and Daiki, as has become customary for them lately, stand at either side of him, but he goes alone to place a single flower on Ryouta’s coffin, watches silently as Ryouta is taken away from him one last time.

He doesn’t cry. The tears refuse to come.

~~

It takes another two weeks for him to finally break down, to accept that Ryouta really is gone forever, and it happens while Daiki is in the kitchen cooking dinner, Tetsuya and Satsuki sitting at the table. He feels their baby move for the very first time, and Satsuki places her hands to his stomach, smiling in delight. 

Ryouta should be the one doing this, but he’s not here anymore. He’ll never see their child being born. He’ll never hear their first words or watch them take their first steps. They’ll grow up having never known him, and that’s what hurts most of all.

The tears, once they start falling, won’t seem to stop. Satsuki is there immediately, holding him close, telling him it’s okay, that she’s here for him, and Daiki does the same, a strong, solid presence against Tetsuya’s back, and he should feel safe and cared for, but he doesn’t. 

The only embrace he wants is Ryouta’s.

“I miss him,” he says helplessly. “I miss him so much.”

“Of course you do,” Satsuki soothes, wiping away his tears. “It’s only natural.”

“We never even picked a name for the baby,” Tetsuya continues, voice shuddering almost as much as his body. “When I went for my last check up and the technician asked us if we wanted them to identify their gender, he said it ought to be a surprise. Now he’ll never know whether we end up having a boy or a girl. I should have found out. I should have told him.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Daiki insists. “Stop blaming yourself.”

But that’s not all. There are a thousand things Tetsuya should have done. He wishes he’d been more patient with Ryouta, that he’d appreciated him more. He wishes he hadn’t taken his existence for granted, assumed that he’d always be there. 

He’s lost the most important person in his life. There’s a gaping hole in his heart, and it won’t ever be filled. 

~~

He returns to work five days later, thanking Satsuki and Daiki for everything they’ve done. They’re reluctant to let him go back home, but Tetsuya won’t let them convince him to stay. It’s not easy, and he very nearly runs away, but he knows he has to accept it, even if he can’t move on just yet.

The first night on his own is the hardest, because the bed feels so empty without Ryouta. Tetsuya is going to have to sort through his belongings at some point, but at the moment, he can only take things one step at a time. 

Ryouta’s scent is no longer there when Tetsuya buries his face against the pillows. He’s already changed the sheets, replaced them with freshly laundered ones. Now all he can smell is fabric softener. He can’t bring himself to lie in Ryouta’s side of the bed, tries not to think about how it will still be vacant when he wakes up in the morning. 

Instead, he remembers going for another scan the day before, and discovering that he’s carrying a little boy. Tetsuya wonders which one of them he’ll take after, if he’ll look like Ryouta when he grows up. He needs to decide what to call him, too, but that can wait. He’ll tell Ryouta as soon as he does, and then he’ll take their child to visit his grave when he’s born.

The baby stirs as if sensing his thoughts, reminding Tetsuya that he’s not alone, that he has a reason to carry on, and he places a palm over his belly, taking comfort from the tiny life inside him.

He hasn’t lost everything. He still has hope.

Someday he might even be able to smile again.


End file.
